So Let’s Get This Started

Hi. I’m fat.


And out of shape.


And have skinny arms.


I’m also 36 and need to change those sentences.


So why now? Because now is as good time as any. Not to mention, I was recently admitted to the University of Utah’s Grad School English program. Two days of touring the campus and Salt Lake City made it very clear that I needed to be in better shape to hack it out at altitude. While I was touring, I stopped to have lunch and while perusing Instagram stumbled upon this terrifying workout that the great and wonderful Becky Lynch had posted. IMG_4893

I took a screenshot, both because I’m a weirdo who feels compelled to document these kinds of things, but also to use as a reference for down the road because I figured I’d forget the order or transpose the numbers. Trying to do 800 burpees and run 10 kilometers sounds like something I’d think is normal.


This workout seemed completely out of reach for several reasons. One, I didn’t even understand what half of the workout was. Two, running is not my forte. I can walk! Who doesn’t love walking? It’s fun and easy and almost never involves running. Three, I looked up what that workout entailed and my god, it’s a nightmare world!


But it also seemed like a solid, long-term goal. That’s what I needed more than anything in working out. I can handle long term goals. Four years ago I enrolled at Oregon State University and slowly worked my way through the university. Short term goals to help get me through each term combined with longer term goals like raising my GPA up helped keep me on task long enough to graduate with honors. Once that was done, the short term goal of studying for the grad school entrance exam helped pay off the longer term goal of applying to grad school. And now here I was, being admitted to grad school! So the system works!


Now all I needed was to figure out where to start. Fortunately the apartment complex I’m currently living in has a gym but do I just jump in? After solving a complex series of math equations to determine what all those kilometers were (mostly just going to Google and typing that in. It seriously only took seconds), I was able to determine that the running portion was roughly 1.25 miles. Great! Now I just have to go run 1.25 miles!


The first go at the treadmill was a bit interesting. Trying to figure out how to get the dang thing to work as well as adjusting the speed, time and incline to regular levels was a bit challenging. I’ve never been good with machinery. It’s one of the reasons I’m an English major and not a Computer Science major. I know enough about this laptop to turn it on and type and that’s about it. I assumed – incorrectly – that all machines are created equal. This machine has more buttons than my phone and none of them seemed to do what I needed. In the end, I managed to run for 20:00 only to be ejected by the machine when the time limit went off. Even in the world of fitness the machines can judge.


But I have baseline numbers. I ran the mile in just 20:00. I didn’t even get to attempt for the 1.25 but knowing how to adjust the time as well as being more comfortable on the machine, plus practice (the most important part) should allow me to shave time off these numbers in the future.


Now I just need to figure out those burpees…….




Down: “Stone the Crow”

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